And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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