I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Found your dick twin last night
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Randomize
