oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
