Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
