well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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