We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
