About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
