It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
