Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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