Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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