i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
