who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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