Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
