Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
