My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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