the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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