it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize