Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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