wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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