He felt like a one man threesome
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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