College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My life is pants optional.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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