i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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