i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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