he wants to bone in the snuggie
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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