also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
