I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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