I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we're making bets on your personal life
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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