he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
