Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
