you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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