I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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