I think my fart just growled at me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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