Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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