4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
