i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
