Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
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This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize