i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
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