why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
