So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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