Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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