I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
