What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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