He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
