Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
