I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
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If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
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You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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