whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you traded sex for a burrito?
high people should be assigned attendants
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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