can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize