just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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