I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
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You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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