oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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