My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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