So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm sobbing to NWA
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
