I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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