If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
