Old men and throwing up are my life now.
honey bunches of taint.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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