I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize