I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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