I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think your dad took our porno
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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