I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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